


national training camp crackheads  ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ( kinda), Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Crack Treated Seriously, Friendship, Gen, Group chat, Memes, Miya Atsumu is a Little Shit, Osamu miya has the worst brother, Sakusa Kiyoomi-centric, Swearing, Texting, This Is STUPID, Training Camp, Truth or Dare, hoshiumi screams a lot, kageyama is too pure, mention of Sakusa admiring Ushijima a bit too much, slight sexual humor, they tease him about it way too much, wow I'm so unoriginal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24715279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: sakusuckmydick: SJHUT ITsakusuckmydick: MOTOYA I SWEAR TO GODDseagull: * chokes on popcorn*hottie:  ( ❛︠ ͜ʖ ︡❛)?anAngel is typing ...broccoli: waoh waoh waoh we're getting some serious confidential information heretobio-kun~: I don't get it am I missing something?
Relationships: ( I'm too lazy to type the rest), Everyone & Everyone, Friendship:, Hoshiumi Kourai & Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio & Miya Atsumu, Komori Motoya & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Sakusa Kiyoomi, its not that important tho, one sided Sakusa Kiyoomi/ Ushijima Wakatoshi, slight
Comments: 26
Kudos: 181





	national training camp crackheads  ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

**Author's Note:**

> HELLOOO
> 
> anyways, I saw a lot of mini-training-camp-chatfics and I read them all
> 
> and what do I do when I finish reading a specific type of fics?? ( If you already read one of my works you might know the answer)
> 
> I write one !!

**_Miya Atusmu added Hoshuimi Kouri, Sakusa Kiyoomi, Kageyama Tobio, and 2 other users to the chat._ **

**_Miya Atsumu named the chat JAPANNN_ **

**_Miya Atsumu changed their name to hottie_ **

**_hottie changed Sakusa Kiyoomi's name to Mr.clean_ **

**_hottie changed Hoshuimi Kouri's name to shortie_ **

**_hottie changed Kageyma's name to tobio-kun~_ **

**_hottie changed Chigaya's name to broccoli_ **

**_hottie changed Komori's name to anAngel_ **

hottie: sup bitches 

shortie: HELLOOOOO

shortie: wait a minute 

shortie: CHANGE MY NAME NOW

hottie: NO 

shortie: I THOUGHT WE were BROS 

shortie: I DEMAND ADMIN PRIVELAGES 

hottie: why 

shortie: cuz I have blackmail material 

hottie: oh 

hottie: OoOH 

hottie: OH NO WAIT

hottie: ONE SECOND 

hottie: here you're an admin now

**_shortie changed their name to seagull_ **

Mr.clean: is it because you screech like a gull.

seagull: at least I talk to people you hermit 

Mr.clean: who tf is hottie

hottie: OMI OMI YOU WOUND ME HOW DID YOU NOT GUESS 

Mr.clean: oh 

Mr.clean: I apologize, it's just that it doesn't suit you at all.

hottie: CAN YOU STOP BEING SO BLUNT 

anAngel: it's not his fault, he's not used to talking to people he didn't mean it.

hottie: what are you, his mother?

anAngel: his cousin

seagull: WAIT REALLY

hottie: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US EARLIER

Mr.clean: because you never asked dumbass.

hottie: .

hottie: STILL

hottie: YOU TORMENTED MY POOR SOUL AND MADE ME BELIEVE THAT YOU ACTUALLY HAD A FRIEND.

Mr.clean: I have friends.

hottie: friends that are not related to you?

Mr.clean: .

seagull: HAHAHA

hottie: aww don't worry Omi Omi we're all friends here.

Mr.clean: that actually made me feel worse.

hottie: hey ):,

hottie: so blunt

anAngel: translation: " I'm actually happy to be your friend even tho you're an asshole but I can't tell you that because your ego is already bigger than the main Arena"

hottie: Awww 

hottie: Omi Omi ~ <3

broccoli: hii

hottie: broccoli-chan !!

tobio-kun~: you sound like Oikawa...

tobio-kun~: it's a very bad thing by the way 

hottie: TOBIO-KUUNNNN

tobio-kun~: please stop calling me that 

hottie: anyways who is this Oikawa 

tobio-kun~: he used to be my senpai 

hottie: mm

tobio-kun~: you know him?

broccoli: OF COURSE WE DO 

broccoli: I saw the replay of your match against Aoba Johsai that guy's a monster.

hottie: what position does he play in

tobio-kun~: setter 

hottie: I'M BETTER THAN HIM RIGHT? ):<

hottie: Oh of course I am is that even a question.

hottie: indeed

hottie: I'm sure his weak 

hottie: and ugly very ugly 

hottie: ultra ugly, I'm sure he looks like trash, discusting . 

tobio-kun~: 

hottie: 

seagull: HAHAHAHA GET RECKED

seagull: " I'm SuRe HeS UGlY"

seagull: " I'M sUrE hE lOoKs LiKe TrAsh"

seagull: get fucking destroyed tsumu 

Mr.clean: he's probably crying in a corner rn 

Mr.clean: or giving his brother a headache 

hottie: hello, this is Osamu, I don't know what happened with my shitty brother, he's currently crying and mumbling something like "it's just because of the angle" and " I'm supposed to be the handsome senpai".

hottie: anyways, thank you for erasing that smug looks on his face, his fuckboy attitude was starting to really piss me off.

hottie: bye! - the better twin

anAngel: hahaha hahaha

anAngel: such a drama queen

Mr.clean: well he was giving his brother a headache after all.

hottie: OSAMU YOU PIECE OF SHIT 

hottie: HE'S LYING FORGET EVERYTHING HE SAID 

Mr.clean: sure

Mr.clean: we totally think that you're more honest than your bother and that you're not jealous at aaaall

Mr.clean: even if you just had a breakdown because a random setter looks better than you 

hottie: listen here you hee hee looking-ass motherfucking piece of shit 

seagull: *grabs popcorn*

**_hottie changed Mr.cleans name to sakusuckmydick_ **

anAngel: mhm not bad

sakusuckmydick: as if I would suck your germ-infested shrimp

seagull: lool

anAngel: if your name was Ushijima Wakatoshi ... 

sakusuckmydick: I -WAHT ARAE YOUW TALKING ABOUT 

sakusuckmydick: SJHUT IT 

sakusuckmydick: MOTOYA I SWEAR TO GODD

seagull: * chokes on popcorn*

hottie: ( ❛︠ ͜ʖ ︡❛)? 

**_anAngel is typing ..._ **

broccoli: waoh waoh waoh we're getting some serious confidential information here

tobio-kun~: I don't get it am I missing something?

sakusuckmydick: no 

sakusuckmydick: no no no

sakusuckmydick: motoya please I'll do anything 

anAngel: mmm anything?

sakusuckmydick: yes

anAngel: buy me those cool knee-pads

anAngel: the ones that I showed you yesterday

sakusuckmydick: ok...

hottie: HEYY BUT I WANTED TO KNOW

hottie : PLSSS TELL MEEEEE

hottie: PLSS PLSSS PRETTY PLEASE

tobio-kun~: the physical appearance of the please won't change anything

hottie: is he dumber than me or did he do a "despicable me " reference 

tobio-kun~: a what?

seagull: yea he's just dumb

broccoli: hahahhaha

hottie: OMI OMIIIIIII

hottie: omi omi~

hottie: OMIIII YA PIECE OF SHIT ANSWER ME 

hottie: _@sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick_

hottie: _@sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick_

hottie: _@sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick_

hottie: _@sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick_

hottie: _@sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick @sakusuckmydick_

sakusuckmydick: WHAT 

hottie: finally!!

hottie: why was yer cousin talking abt ushiwaka-san

**_sakusuckmydick is offline_ **

seagull: aw come on

anAngel: sorry, I can't tell you ~

seagull: ):<

hottie: don't worry bro we'll discover the truth 

tobio-kun~: whats happening 

sakusuckmydick: I don't know

anAngel: 

broccoli: 

seagull: 

hottie: 

**_sakusuckmydick left the chat_ **

hottie: HAHAHAHAHA 

hottie: NO YOU DON'T

**_hottie added sakusuckmydick to the chat_ **

**_sakusuckmydick left the chat_ **

**_hottie added sakusuckmydick to the chat_ **

**_sakusuckmydick left the chat_ **

**_hottie added sakusuckmydick to the chat_ **

**_sakusuckmydick left the chat_ **

**_hottie added sakusuckmydick to the chat_ **

sakusuckmydick: WHAT DO YOU WANT

sakusuckmydick: go to sleep.

hottie: 

tobio-kun~: I'm so confused 

tobio-kun~: but he's right we need to sleep

hottie: SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

seagull: sorry mate I'm tired and I have to practice early tomorrow.

seagull: good night every one

tobio-kun~: good night

anAngel: GN !

sakusuckmydick: 'night 

broccoli: gn my dudes.

hottie: Hi this is Osamu this big baby fell asleep, gn .

**[ 12:59]**

seagull: I can't sleep 

hottie: same

sakusuckmydick: is this Atsumu or the better twin

hottie: the better twin -osamu

sakusuckmydick: good

seagull: didnt you want to sleep

sakusuckmydick: I just wanted to get rid of that pest

hottie: lmaoo -Osamu

hottie: OH NO I REGRET USING MY BROTHERS PHONE -Osamu

seagull: lmao what hapened 

hottie: a bunch of girls are sexting with him -Osamu

seagull: right now??

hottie: yea... -Osamu

hottie: my poor eyes

seagull: LMAOOO SEND THEM SOME FUCKED UP SHIT RUIN THE MOOD

hottie: OK OK -Osamu

hottie: ugh I don't know how am I supposed to ruin the mood -Osamu

seagull: uhhhhh

seagull: copy-paste this : "

[[Stahp. 👋 🏻 Don't Flirt Wit Meh. Do Yhu Not Know What In A➡ RELATIONSHIP⬅ Means.? Frfr.👋 🏻 I Am Loyal. 💯 I Am In Love.💗 && Nobody Gunna Come Between Us. 😝 Stop Wit Yhur Thirsty Asses Tryna Hit Me Up On The DL, I Am Commited.✌ 🏼👌🏼💯 ]]

hottie: HAHAHA HAHAHA I'LL SEND YOU A SCREENSHOT -Osamu 

hottie: **screenshot :**

**. [ Marine: hey there ~ wanna have fun ~cutie**

**[ hottie:** **Stahp. 👋 Don't Flirt Wit Meh. Do Yhu Not Know What In A➡ RELATIONSHIP⬅ Means.? Frfr.👋 🏻 I Am Loyal. 💯 I Am In Love.💗 && Nobody Gunna Come Between Us. 😝 Stop Wit Yhur Thirsty Asses Tryna Hit Me Up On The DL, I Am Commited.✌👌🏼💯.**

**[ _marine has blocked you_**

-Osamu

seagull: HAHHAHHHAHA

sakusuckmydick: lol serves him right 

_h **ottie added thebettertwin to the chat**_

hottie: I don't want to go near my brother's phone anymore so here's my number. -Osamu

_hottie is offline_

thebettertwin: ok that's way better 

thebettertwin: hey sakusa

sakusuckmydick: ?

thebettertwin: Y was your cousin talking abt ushijima

**_sakusckmydick kicked thebettertwin out of the chat_ **

sakusuckmydick: he really is his twin.

**_seagull is offline_ **

**_sakusuckmydick is offline_ **

**Author's Note:**

> I have five final projects due tomorrow and I just finished the first one ( I shouldn't be writing fanfics lol)
> 
> anyways 
> 
> this is a really stupid idea if you want me to continue this let me know in the comments!


End file.
